On Sam 25 juin 2005 7:24, Peter Molenaar a écrit :
Hi Olly,
Don't think there's someone 'in charge' of PR, there's just several people that have indicated they'd like to help out in that area (I'm one of those).
Hmmm I can see a few problems. First, we need to make the reading eye move more easily along the text, and there are far too many pauses. So:
- drop the full stops after each of the first three lines, they spoil the flow of the words. An exclamation mark at the end of the 4th line.
- Drop the paragraph separator between the 5th and 6th, and replace the three dots by a colon.
I think you'll find it reads better that way.
Next, the problem is with the word "Microsoft". Not only is it probably TM or something, it's limiting. OOo is available on a number of platforms and compatible with a number of popular office suites (mainly via RTF). I'd tend to replace "Microsoft compatible" with "Compatible with a wide range of platforms"
It would be more tactful too: you know how some of our people react to the slightest mention of the word "Microsoft"!